You'd think that after nearly 24 years of living with myself I'd have gotten used to my spectacular mood swings. I understand, in some logical part of my brain that's allowed to function under normal circumstances, that these are purely hormonal, chemical, molecular, biological....NOT MY FUCKING FAULT....and they're not caused by outside interference. Nevertheless, I still manage to surprise myself.
Today started off well enough. I was cheerful, even. I made tea, instead of coffee and somehow found this amusing. Perhaps that should have been a sign. When the mood goes up, it must go down. I put on my desert camo pants, feeling special that I'm wearing pants that I wore in Afghanistan and that no one on campus today could say the same. I decided to wear my Chucks, which were bought prior to Nike's takeover of Converse and thus the last pair I will ever own. They only get busted out on particularly happy days.
So I'm sitting in class. Once again, this is archaeology, a subject I enjoy with the added benefit of a hot guy in the room. I get my window seat and settle in to admiring the blue, clear sky.
All of the sudden... I convince myself that I've failed the test we took last week. My pants make me look fat. These shoes look dumb and they hurt my feet. How dare it be sunny! How dare it! I wish it wasn't so cold out. God, it's fucking ROASTING in here! If that girl asks one more know-it-all question I will strangle her. Or at least throw my leaky pen at the back of her head. Why did I even come today? I hate this class.
I even had attitude in my notes. After the prof explained why the Fertile Crescent was the perfect place for agriculture to sprout (har!) up, I wrote: "So the Fertile Crescent is fertile. Who knew!"
So there you have it. One morning in the mind of Sara. And by the way, I meant keyboard as in computer keyboard; I won't be blasting synthesizers at anyone. Although, the pained looks on peoples' faces might make me feel better. Momentarily.
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5 comments:
Sara,
I knew there were several reasons why I like you... I thought maybe - it was cos' you're an excellent writer... funny... intelligent... but now I know that it really all boils down to the fact that you are a "moody bitch." Being a "moody bitch" myself... I salute you.
A fertile fertile crescent? Good to know.
y'all make me laugh...can you imagine the fire and brimstone if we all got together. Sara we all feel the same and I hates to tell you that. Its like some days you see through the shit and it kills. Other days you feel like an angel. But the shit seeting angels have their place as well...
Still feel like laughing at yer.
No shit? The ferile crescent was fertile?!?
I'm sure your shoes are exceedingly cool. I'm equally sure you do not look fat in your desert camoflage pants. In fact, I'm quite sure you are the cats fuckin' pajamas.
Even when you're moody.
I never used to get moody or PMS-y - until I hit this perimenopause crap. Now, I never know what my emotions are going to do. I get totally pissed off for no reason whatsoever and just want to STAY pissed off. Go figure. I hate this female hormone bullshit. I want to just be done with menopause NOW!
I sympathize, Sara. I too doubt the pants make you look fat at all. And when did Nike buy Converse? boo hiss.
Who boody cares about pants that make you look fat or not? Do you like them? Are you comfortable in them? They are pants. But then again I have a cupboard full of things I don't wear because they are too itchy and scratchy...too tight somewhere or elswhere, to polyesterish, which makes you sweat.
I like my jeans, my cotton and if I had camoflague pants I bet i'd like them too. Never been to Afghanastan...nor New Zealand, nor anywhere else but New South Walse and Queensland (Australia)but will be in Victoria in a few days...world traveller that I am!!!!
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