Adventures in Bathrooming

Ever since my little excursion to Afghanistan I've told myself that if I ever wrote a book about my life that it'd be entitled Adventures in Bathrooming, due to the varied and interesting toilets and procedures involved in the simple act of peeing.

I'm currently living as a fugitive in Tony's room, as I'm not supposed to be here when he's not, but since he has cable, an internet connection and air conditioning he gave me his key while he's on leave. However, out of respect for his suitemates (the dudes who share a bathroom with him) I don't want to use his bathroom and draw anymore attention to myself than need be. My room is down the block and my roomate thinks that it's perfectly normal that the toilet backs up when flushing three squares of paper, so I avoid that place as well. As a result, I've been having to make do with the local public facilities, namely the library and the 24-hour shoppette. Perhaps I'll expand to the bowling alley next week. At least it's not a squat-pot on a moving train or a stone pedestal that drops into a tin bucket (see Platoon and the scene where they get caught stealing beer and are punished by emptying out the shit-buckets. I think those might be the ACTUAL ones we used out there). It's also quite a bit nicer than having to put on your peecho to cop a squat while a bunch of infantry boys stare at you.

Ah Christ, it's raining again. I thought I saw that vile humidity cloud heading this way. There's this scary blue-colored wall Ft. Drum develops in the Northwest that makes it look like the world is about to end and it's where all the bad weather comes from. It's been so nice and not-muggy the past few days too. Ah well. It's this strange bucket-like rain, too. It's not calm and drizzley make-things-green rain; it's a violent, pull-the-car-over-I-can't-see sort of rain that even sounds painful from inside the concrete building.

So borrrrrrrr-ing!

I could bitch about everything today - my laundry smells like pond water after taking it out of the washer and I have no dryer sheets to freshen it, I missed dinner so I had to eat chowder out of the can, I'm so bored that I've taken to wandering around the mall and playing Party Poker online for entertainment. But really, I just miss Tony. He's been gone for nearly two days now and I'm going crazy. Sad, I know. It doesn't help that there's no one around either. I mean, I haven't talked to anyone all day long. We "talked" through text messaging today and he's coming home a few days early so we can spend some time together before he deploys. Man, I'm really out of it without him around. After so many years of not feeling that way about anyone, I don't find it at all pathetic. I actually like being completely captivated by him.

I have to move

Even though I'm working a whole two buildings away from where I used to live and work, someone deemed it necessary to make me move. When one moves from one duty station to the next - say, from Korea to New York - the army sends professional movers and lets you have the day off to wait for said movers. If, however, you are moving down the street, you are on your own and usually have about 2 days to do it..... after work. So that's the position I'm in. It's my last weekend to spend with Tony before he goes on leave and I may not be here when he gets back, and even if I am, he'll be in Iraq shortly after. But instead of spending time with him, I get to haul my belongs around post. What kills me is that I'm going to leave the army soon and all of my stuff is getting shipped home anyway. What the hell is the rush?

My new Chief says that she's confident that she'll get me to reenlist. BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Been surfing the net in an attempt to find apartments/jobs in the Portland area. I don't really want a job, but it's probably going to be necessary. The army has done nothing for my problem with authority - in fact, it's worsened it. I simply cannot stand an insecure douchebag on a powertrip making up for a total lack of competence by berating what he sees as his "lessers" for something either trivial or simply made up. I've been in the position of middle management for the past year and I know the stuff they come up with for your subordinates to do is ridiculous; there's no need to make it any more unpleasant than it already is or make up MORE meaningless and tedious tasks.

Tony suggests that I go to bartending school and then work at some cute little pub like the ones I always drag him to in Canada. It's not a bad idea and I'm sure I'll make some bucks, but isn't the point of working when you're in your 20's to pay for your nightlife? So how am I going to do that when I'm working during the prime hours? Sigh. I suppose a little compromise is necessary.

London's Burning

...And the people are at the pub. I love the Brits. If this were in America, there'd be hysteria, finger-pointing and probably a bombing campaign underway. I wish them all the best of luck and I can't wait to get over there soon! I had a layover at Heathrow once and that just doesn't count as actually having been to England. Now that I'm getting out of the army (keeping my fingers crossed!) and have a friend stationed in the north, I'm definitely going to spend some time there.

I don't know why I'm so outrageously tired this morning. I have things to do - iron and shine, which I thought I'd never do again with the new uniforms, but this unit I'm moving to hasn't receive those yet - and I know someone's going to pound on my door and demand to know why I haven't moved out yet, and then they're going to come in and see how disgusting this place is and have a coniption. God, I can't wait to live someplace where my boss doesn't have the authority to come over any time he pleases and tell me to clean my microwave.

Question: Is it considered ok in England/rest of Europe to have a pint at lunch? If I were to get caught having a drink at lunch, after the screaming and pushups I'd probably have counseling, referrals to therapy and be forced to give the annual Army Substance Abuse Prevention class. We Americans are entirely too uptight about alcohol.

It's about time, eh?

I finally left Xanga after nearly 5 years over there. They don't allow comments from non-Xangans, pictures are hard to upload if you don't have premium, and if you browse through the members, the median age is 15. I wasn't interested in high school when I was in high school and I sure as hell don't care about it now.

My old site (as if you really care) is http://www.xanga.com/beatpunk.

The nightmare is over!

I did it! I outprocessed the company!!! I shook 1sg's hand, we said goodbyes, wished each other luck and that was it! I still can't believe it really happened. And I found a way out of the division run tomorrow! I rock. Well, we all do. I forget I'm not the only one leaving this place.